


Let Me Go, Please

by orphan_account



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Lila Rossi Lies, Sad Ending, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Marinette is stressed and unhappy. Dark thoughts curl up in her mind. Lila’s promise finally catches up to her. Most of the class is against her. She finds solace in one thing - her patrols with Chat Noir.But when he says something, she disappears. He doesn’t get any response from ringing her yo-yo, or anything on his tracker.But he sees it, finally, the next day. The little emblem with the 5 black dots on it, on his staff’s tracker. Checking the news footage, he sees her, standing on the edge of the roof, tears streaming down her face, a lucky charmed megaphone in her hands.And then she jumps, her transformation dissolving.(TW: Suicide and Major Character Death.)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 7
Kudos: 201





	Let Me Go, Please

**Author's Note:**

> Again, HUGE TW for mentions of suicide and character death.
> 
> I’ve been in a huge depressive state. Writing is huge therapy for me, and I was listening to my private spotify playlist, eloquently named “for sad bitches.” 
> 
> The song, listen before i go, by billie eillish was a huge inspiration for this fic.

if you need me

wanna see me 

you better hurry

i’m leaving soon.

——

Marinette was unhappy, in every sense of the word. With her life, it felt like there were two huge weights dragging her down: her exhaustion, and the larger, heavier responsibility, being Ladybug.

Anyone could see the way she stumbled around as exhaustion. Her entire class felt bad for her; she had constant bags under her eyes and fell asleep in class at least once a week. Snapping out of her thoughts, Marinette turns from her spot in the back of the class towards the front, where Lila is twisting her hair on her finger, leaning on Adrien. The whole class was gathered around her, Marinette excluded. Lila’s voice traveled, however, so she could hear her clear as day.

“I can’t believe how much support you guys have given me over the past little while!” Lila said, in a sickeningly sweet voice. “First with my tinnitus in my right ear, and my arthritis... oh, you guys have been so supportive!” 

Crocodile tears appeared in the corners of her eyes. “I just feel _so_ much better now! Ladybug was a big help of course, she came to visit me every day to check in on me after my tinnitus flared up after the akuma attack!” 

Marinette rolled her eyes, standing up and grabbing her bag. Walking towards the front of the class, she felt something catch below her feet. 

Glancing down in the split second her feet were still firmly planted on the floor, she saw classic boots attached to her least favorite classmate. 

  
She fell, with a sickening crunch, while Lila let out a “Oh my goodness Marinette! Are you alright? You should be more careful!” 

Marinette stood up quickly, her knees and elbows burning while everyone shot her pitiful glances. Her face was red, but from an entirely different reason than embarrassment. She was only distantly aware that Adrien was around to witness it.

”You! You did it on purpose!” She said, jabbing a finger towards Lila’s face. Lila smirked for a moment, hiding it expertly with a look of false concern.

”I know you’re jealous of my closeness to Adrien because you have a crush on him, but Marinette, but you don’t have to be so dishonest!”

Adrien shot her a questioning glance, but Marinette avoided his gaze. 

Alya shot a glare towards Lila. “That was rude, Lila! Even though Marinette is a liar, that doesn’t mean you can just expose her like that!”

Lila looked shocked in false sympathy. “Wait... he didn’t know, Marinette? I’m so sorry! I thought he would’ve just rejected you for someone better at this point, not that he didn’t know!”

Marinette felt tears fall down her face. She retreated towards the door slowly, hiding her tears from her peers. As soon as she got out the door, she went to a full blown sprint, and let out a sob.

Why was she so despicable? What did she want? 

Tikki stuck her little head out of Marinette’s purse, putting her little paw on Marinette’s hand. Marinette felt her pace slow.

She shot Tikki her best shaky grin, sniffling quietly. “Thanks, Tikki.” 

She slowed as she walked into the bakery.

“Just a moment!” Sabine Cheng called, but Marinette gave her a hug from the side as best she could. Sabine turned towards her daughter, kissing her forehead gently.

“It’s just me, Maman.” 

——

Patrols were something that always brightened her day. She needed it, after what happened at school. 

She sat on the edge of the Eiffel Tower, as she and Chat always did. 

She heard a soft tap behind her. Turning her head towards her partner, she shot him one of her first genuine grins that day. 

“Ready to go, Mon Chaton?” 

“I’ve been ready _fur-_ ever, my lady. Just wanted to see your beautiful face before we left. Do you want to take South or North today, Bugaboo?” He turned to look across the skyline.

A soft sound left her throat. She was about to say something, probably a typical, “Don’t call me Bugaboo!” but it died in her throat. 

The sound was almost a sob, but she caught herself. 

“Could we patrol together today? Please?”

Chat turned back towards her, a cheeky smirk on his face. But it died as he saw her expression. “How could I say no to such a cute little bug?” 

The grin on his face was genuine. He cared. She could tell he cared. 

——

A few hours after they had finished patrol, Ladybug and Chat were still out and about. It must’ve been very late.

“Can you believe this?” Chat said sourly, looking towards a billboard of Adrien. “You can tell that’s a fake smile. He’s so superficial. As are most of the fans. I was once - I mean - I heard that one time, he was kissed at a show and groped. But no one seemed to care. It’s all about his good looks.” A surprising amount of venom was in his voice. “I’m sure Adrien can deal with it fine but he shouldn’t have to. Every time it happens to m - to him, I just think about how people do that to you, Bugaboo.” 

She stood up straight.

”I just feel like it’s so strange some people are so obsessed. There are borderline stalkers, my lady, probably have their walls papered exclusively of photos. I just always think of you. Like that time Copycat was akumatized just to be with you.” 

Ladybug blinked quickly, and, without warning, she bolted. Chat could hardly stand before she was out of his sight. He called, but she didn’t answer.

Sighing, he took a quick sweep of the surrounding area, but no crimson was standing out against the muddy Paris skyline. 

He tested his tracker for a moment, but she had obviously detransformed.

With many unanswered questions, he made it home.

——

Marinette didn’t show up the next day, which made Adrien sad. He wanted to talk to her. At lunch, he was on his way over to her house when he thought he might check if his lady in red was transformed. With a grumble from Plagg, Adrien was now Chat Noir.

Opening his staff, he was very delighted when he saw the little emblem he had come to associate with his Lady; the red circle with the 5 black dots on the very top of the Eiffel Tower. With luck, she was waiting for him!

——

Marinette was dimly allowed of the growing crowd below her. Cheering for Ladybug, _their_ Ladybug.

She could see red ombré hair in the crowd, laughing at the irony that her former best friend was trying to get her attention. But that was the point, wasn’t it? Attention?

With a shout, Ladybug said loudly, “Lucky Charm!” 

A red and black spotted megaphone landed in her hands. 

She could already feel the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Speaking loudly into the megaphone the crowd went silent. “It’s too late for me, Paris, but not you. You can still make a change. I want every single one of you in this crowd to make someone happy today. Compliment their hair, or their shirt. Heavens knows they might need it. Like I needed it.” 

Tears flowed down from the edges of her mask, but she did not stop. “Make their lives better, Paris, even if you may think they don’t deserve it. There is good in everyone, I think. There is a girl. Her name is Lila Rossi.” 

She could almost feel the camera flashes hitting her forcefully. 

“She’s a liar. She claims to be my best friend. I feel silly doing this, because it’ll be over soon, but I want people to know... to know why.

She’s lied about everything from arthritis to razor sharp napkins.” Ladybug let out a hollow laugh. “But treat her nicely when I’m gone, okay?” 

Her heart leapt in her throat. Tikki knew what to do, at the very least. Someone wouldn’t get ahold of her earrings.

”All I ever wanted in life was to be happy. That’s all I ever needed, and wanted. I wanted a hamster. Maybe a black cat. Paris, you made my life both heaven and hell. You made me so happy, so proud of the city I love, but also held me to such high esteem, I was bound to fall.

And to Chat Noir... I never admitted it..” She said, her voice quieting. “I loved you.” 

And she jumped. 

Marinette was used to the sensation, but her hands were now at her ears. She pulled, hard, tearing the delicate skin. 

The suit dissipated with a shower of pink sparkles. She held her hand out, Tikki taking them in her hands sadly.

There were screams, Marinette was aware. But for the first time, she felt truly elated. It was over. Just a bit of pain and it would be over. 

“She’s just a kid!!” Someone screamed. 

“That’s my best friend!” Alya sobbed. 

  
Marinette couldn’t even feel herself hit the floor. 

**Author's Note:**

> Some of what Marinette said towards the end of her life were things I’ve written in my own journal, just altered to fit her character.
> 
> People love you guys, okay? And although it’s okay to think suicidal thoughts, it’s important to tell people how you’re feeling so you can get proper support for it. It’s okay to write out your thoughts, and I find it very therapeutic. I really recommend it. Who knows, it may come in handy for an angsty fic you write when you’re feeling down? ;)
> 
> ALSO! When I’m feeling better I may come back and write a happy ending for this story. I’m not sure though, as it might be abandoned after I publish this.


End file.
